New Zealand you are so pretty. I headed off to the south island with four of my most favourite mates Cherie, Jules, Natasha and Alice to road trip and hike around hobbit land. We saw a thousand rainbows, swam in glacier rivers, stood under the largest sky reserve in the southern hemisphere, ate chilli bush, smelt stink bush - (I still don’t believe this exists, I’m sure somebody just farted), got trapped on the Milford Sounds in flooding and very, very fucking strong winds - enough to blow you off a mountain, lost a gore-tex jacket, panicked, found the gore-tex jacket, played cards, learnt magic tricks, David Lynched in the log cabin, climbed a mountain, saw snow in January (not a big deal for most but I get excited coming from Darwin), ate the best cheese burger, ate delicious vegan food, ruined the only cooking pot, drank whiskey, drank wine, shared a cabin with a motorboat snorer, pissed off the motorboat snorer, had a giant rock planted in a backpack by the psycho snorer, walked 18km with giant rock in backpack.